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Marriage Equality

 

The Journey to Equality

 

Anna & Seth's weddingSara Snow Photography
Alana & Carly at Saltwater Farm Vineyard

On June 26th, 2015, justice-loving Americans proudly stepped into a new day in our nation’s history, a day that legally recognizes and protects the fundamental human right for individuals of the same sex to join their lives in marriage in every state in these United States. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote in the decision: No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were…marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death.

 

With the support of the highest court in our country, we took a giant leap forward and made history.

 

Love wins my friends, love wins. Sometimes it takes a while and there is more work to do. Rights gained will often be challenged and we must remain watchful and not become complacent. But we can celebrate this victory, knowing that at the end of the day it is love that triumphs. It is humbling and empowering when justice prevails.

 

Ryan & Brenden's weddingJoel Callaway for Carla Ten Eyck
Ryan & Brenden at Lord Thompson Manor

We are pioneers…

On a beautiful spring day in 2012, I walked from the Town Clerk’s office in Old Saybrook with April and Amy who traveled from their home in South Carolina to be married. With marriage certificate in hand, April said, “We are pioneers.” I will never forget that moment or the truth of what she said.


Prior to the Supreme Court’s decision, I had married many couples in Connecticut and Massachusetts who traveled from states where marriage equality was not supported. As joyous as the occasion was, the reality was that soon they would be returning to home states where their legal union would not be recognized. It gave me a deeper appreciation for Connecticut, which in 2008 became the second state in the union to support marriage equality. But more than anything, it made me painfully aware of the injustice to human dignity.


June 26th, 2015 changed that.

To all the same sex couples I have had the honor to marry over the years: thank you for allowing me to be part of this journey with you and to be pioneers…together.

 

Austin, Texas, November 2015
I am from Texas and while I have lived in the northeast for more than 30 years, I will always be a Texan. It is my home, it is my identity. Over the years, I have done many ceremonies that were deeply personal to me: my father’s memorial service, my mother’s memorial service, the wedding ceremonies of my nephews. And then, on a warm November evening in Austin, Texas, 5 months after the Supreme Court’s decision, I got to officiate the wedding ceremony of one of my oldest and dearest friends, my college roommate Debbie & her partner Carol. While we had dreamed of the day that marriage equality would be supported by all states, I don’t think any of us ever expected it to actually become a reality in the southern and southwestern states. And then it did, and suddenly a world of possibility opened.

 

Debbie &s Carol's wedding
Knots & Tots Photography
Carol & Debbie at Terradorna

With the lights of Austin shining in the distance, my friend and her partner of more than 28 years, with their families and friends bearing witness, were legally married in the state where they were born, where they had raised their daughters, built their lives, become part of their community. To be able to say the words, by the authority granted to me by the proud state of Texas, I now pronounce you legally married, in the state we love, was something I will never forget. It was an experience profoundly informed by joy and pride in the long-awaited justice, the dignity of recognition and equal rights that had finally come to an entire population of citizens, in every state in these United States.